Late Night Canada — July 30, 2026
Well, Canadians spent part of this week arguing about whether some people should get more votes than others.
Which is an unusual debate to have in a democracy.
Shopify CEO Tobi Lütke sparked controversy after suggesting people with more at stake financially should have greater influence over elections.
More at stake financially?
That’s certainly one way to say, “I’ve never flown economy.”
He was voicing support for a social media post by TD Bank executive Eric Thor, who proposed a system of “weighted voting” based on the amount of income tax you pay...
From zero votes if you pay no income tax...
To five votes if you pay more than $500,000.
Lütke replied:
“Good system.”
“Good system”?
Yeesh.
Lütke then went on to say people drawing a pension should get no vote at all.
He said they were essentially dependents...
Like children...
And should let those with a stake in the future make the decisions.
Those with a stake in the future...
Also describes children.
But hey...
Why let common sense ruin a “let them eat cake” moment?
Although, seeing as we’re in Canada...
I guess it’s...
“Let them eat Timbits.”
The whole point of democracy is that everybody gets one vote.
The billionaire.
The plumber.
The nurse.
The guy who still insists Tim Hortons coffee changed because of Justin Trudeau.
One vote each.
If wealth determined voting power...
Canadians wouldn’t be electing Members of Parliament.
We’d just wait to see what Galen Weston posted on LinkedIn.
“Oh look, honey...
President’s Choice Decadent Democracy is on sale this week!”
And where does it stop?
Does your RRSP unlock bonus ballots?
“Congratulations...
You’ve reached Gold Democracy Status.”
Of course, wealthy people already have influence.
They can hire lobbyists.
Buy media companies.
Fund political campaigns.
The one thing they aren’t supposed to be able to buy...
Is more democracy.
There is no Premium Democracy.
No Democracy Plus.
This whole thing has been weirdly reassuring.
Because it reminds us...
Rich people are just as dumb as poor people.
They just have more money.
Fauci Takes the Fifth
Meanwhile, in the U.S....
Dr. Anthony Fauci is now facing legal action over his handling of the pandemic.
Only America could live through a global pandemic...
And decide the real villain was...
The infectious disease doctor.
This is the infectious disease doctor who served under seven presidents...
Helped guide America through the HIV crisis...
Is respected around the world...
But apparently decided to throw away an entire career...
Create COVID...
Cover it up...
Just for a laugh.
Fauci, in an effort to avoid perjury entrapment, is pleading the Fifth.
Essentially refusing to answer any questions.
Which, at first, sounds a little suspicious...
Until you compare it to what you’d do...
If Rand Paul tried to start a conversation with you in a bar.
It’s American exceptionalism at its finest.
As though the rest of the world...
Wasn’t also there.
Sure, Canada certainly has its own healthcare problems.
Emergency rooms are overcrowded.
Finding a family doctor can feel like trying to buy the winning Lotto Max ticket.
But at least when Canadians can’t find a doctor...
We don’t immediately assume it’s because doctors are secretly working for Big Stethoscope.
...Yet.
One of the strange side effects of turning healthcare into a business...
Is eventually people start wondering whether every decision is being made for medical reasons...
Or financial ones.
Trust starts disappearing.
And once people stop trusting doctors...
They start trusting people who begin sentences with:
“Now, I’m not an expert, but...”
Which is usually followed by something that confirms that.
High-Confidence Rail
Back here in Canada...
The federal government announced another $1.9 billion investment in VIA Rail.
Finally.
Canada is made for train travel.
Vast lands.
Wild weather.
People always say:
“We need high-speed rail.”
We do.
But let’s be honest.
At this point I’d settle for...
High-confidence rail.
Just a train that arrives approximately when the train says it’ll arrive.
Still...
It’s nice to see Canada investing in infrastructure.
Especially passenger rail.
Because every developed country eventually reaches the same conclusion.
Moving thousands of people...
One person per car at a time...
Might not be the most efficient long-term strategy.
Of course, there were critics.
“$1.9 billion for trains?”
It should be noted, though...
None of those critics were sitting in stop-and-go traffic on the 401.
Doug Ford Punches Snoopy
And finally...
Ontario Premier Doug Ford says he’s pulling provincial support for the Alto high-speed rail project...
After the federal government refused to approve an expansion of Toronto’s Billy Bishop Airport.
Which feels a little...
Petulant.
It’s like a kid whose dad won’t buy him a third funnel cake at Canada’s Wonderland...
So he punches Snoopy.
Now security’s involved...
The whole family’s being escorted to the parking lot...
Grandma never got on the Leviathan...
Little sister’s crying...
And Dad’s wondering how a $300 family outing ended...
With an assault charge.
That’s basically what’s happening here.
The federal government says no to expanding one airport...
So Ontario’s response is:
“Fine.
Then nobody gets a high-speed train.”
That’s not transportation policy.
That’s a baby throwing his bottle out of the buggy.
Ontario is home to nearly 17 million people.
It probably shouldn’t lose a major transportation project because two levels of government are having a disagreement.
Maybe...
And I’m just spitballing here...
If we’re serious about transportation in Ontario...
Premier Ford should try taking the UP Express.
We’ve got a show!
