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A Message From The Government of Canada Regarding the US Trade War

Not Really

Thank you, Prime Minister.

And thank you for joining us.

It is my duty, as Minister of Keepin’ It Real, to provide a response to the collapse of trade deal talks between Canada and the United Snakes...

Pardonnez-moi...

States.

We are obviously disappointed...

that we had to negotiate a deal...

that already exists...

and was signed by the U.S. President.

But then we remembered that any deal with the United States currently is signed...

in ketchup.

Though we were close to agreeing on a new deal, the U.S. at the last minute asked us to abandon French-language and cultural protections.

And we were like...

Tabarnak!

Do you know how hard it is to keep Quebecers happy as it is?

Pas de deal, Donny.

Non merci.

The U.S. also wanted Canada to get its permission before making certain deals with other countries.

Are we making a trade deal...

or dating in Grade 9?

Get a grip.

But keep your hands off our beaver, eh?

Canada may be polite.

Canada may be nice.

But be warned...

Canada is currently running at a f***s deficit.

Thank you.

No questions.

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