Find the audio podcast here: https://pod.link/1730993828
Ever notice how politics feels less like a chess match and more like toddlers fighting over a Lego set? That’s basically where we’re at… except deadlier.
In this week’s Politics Is Broken, Lisa B. and I dug into two stories that perfectly capture the absurdity:
1. The Liberals Invite the Hamburglar
The Liberals invited Kevin Roberts—yes, the guy behind Project 2025, a 900-page fever dream of dismantling democracy—to a cabinet meeting. The official reason? Because he “knows the Trump playbook.” That’s like inviting the Hamburglar into your kitchen because he “knows hamburgers.”
Unsurprisingly, Roberts bailed after backlash, offering the diplomatic equivalent of “sorry, I’m washing my hair.” But the bigger question is why invite him at all? As Lisa pointed out, you can just… read Project 2025. You don’t need the author to fly up and explain that yes, they really do want to abolish the Department of Education and roll back Medicaid.
Our theory? Mark Carney and the PMO simply aren’t used to dealing with people this dumb. When your career has been spent with central bankers and policy wonks, encountering Wile E. Coyote–level ideologues can be disorienting.
2. DOJ Official Goes on a Hinge Date
Meanwhile, across the border, a U.S. Department of Justice official named Joseph Schnitt decided that a first date was the perfect time to casually mention “thousands and thousands of pages” of Epstein files. His date—spoiler—was an undercover reporter.
The fallout included a Notes app “apology” screenshot by the DOJ, complete with 30% battery life visible at the top. Very official. Schnitt claimed he was just repeating things he “heard in the media,” but the video showed otherwise. It was the most embarrassing TED Talk ever given over drinks.
3. Carney Meets the Idiots
So what’s the lesson here? Part of politics is just managing people who are loud, confident, and very dumb. Carney may have thought he was engaging with serious thinkers. Instead, he got stood up by a guy running a “second American revolution” fan club.
It’s like putting a NASA engineer in charge of a daycare where the kids keep trying to eat Play-Doh. Technically he’s in charge, but mostly he’s confused by why everyone’s sticky.
Takeaway:
Politics isn’t broken because people are devious geniuses pulling secret strings. It’s broken because sometimes the people holding the strings are, frankly, idiots. And that might be even scarier.
Listen to this episode with a 7-day free trial
Subscribe to BRITTLESTAR to listen to this post and get 7 days of free access to the full post archives.
