I was tired yesterday.
Full on weary, actually.
I’ve been doing what I do for 10 years now. It’s more work than you think, this being a professional idiot lark.
Sure, I have fun doing what I do but that fun happens on a firm foundation of worry, preparation and self-doubt.
It was one of those days yesterday where when you stop for a quick review of where you’re at and where you’d like to be it reveals what seems like a plethora of failure.
A bounty of coulda, shoulda, woulda.
Then, like a black hole of “poor me”, everything gets dragged down and nothing seems to go right.
Really stupid stuff starts to matter way more than it should.
Picking the wrong bottle of wine (oh, how will we survive??).
Stuff that you have no control over seems like yet another cock-up caused by yourself.
If we had left an hour earlier it wouldn’t be raining.
It messes with your head.
It plays on your anxiety.
It quickly crowds out any sense of accomplishment and achievement.
It can make you feel like nothing is working like it should.
That’s when you need to hit the brakes, take a deep breath, and look around.
For me yesterday it was spotting a storm drain at the side of the road happily gulping up litres upon litres of melting snow water.
This drain was all in.
It knew the assignment and was all “Let’s fucking go”.
If drains can be cocky, this drain was cocky.
Cocky as all hell.
I only watched for about 15 seconds.
I mean, it’s a drain.
But it felt good.
This drain was working great.
As far as drains go, this was a very successful drain.
Other nearby drains probably admired it and were inspired by its draining prowess.
No matter what leaves or refuse eventually block it, and they will, that drain could forever remind itself and others about that time when it drained like a goddamn superstar.
Then maybe someone or something would clear the blockage and it would rise, or drain, again.
Sometimes things work.
Sometimes things don’t work.
A lot of times things work… then don’t… then do.
It’s an ebb and flow.
It’s a ride.
Sometimes a scary ride.
Sometimes a slow ride that doesn’t seem to be going anywhere.
Sometimes a ride that is the most exciting and satisfying feeling ever.
But the ride, until you’re dead, is always moving.
When you’re down and feel like things aren’t working, think about the times things were working.
Big or small, doesn’t matter.
Then remind yourself and others about those times.
It will let you know that things in life are never static.
It will let others know that you’ve succeeded before and you will again.
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Well put. It is amazing how we can have a room full of people applaud us and have that destroyed by the one jackass with a mean remark.
You know the movie saying. “Things will turn out all right in the end. If they are not all right, it is not the end.”