I HAVE NO DESIRE TO BE AMERICAN

or Canada Loves You, America, But Not Like That

I love America.

I’ve spent lots of time and money in America.
By and large (apart from the one time I was almost mugged in New Orleans) I’ve had nothing but great experiences in America.

Note - for those about to proclaim while pushing up their glasses frame that Canada is part of North America therefore Canadians are Americans, a) nobody says that, and b) this is why people think you’re no fun at parties.

America does so many things very well.
The cliche of American Can-Do chutzpah is true.
Canadians (usually) wait for permission, Americans justify actions with results (usually).

I also have no desire to be American.

None.
Zero.
Rien.

I love Canada more.
Canada is America without the relentless focus on the individual.
I feel safer in Canada.
Every time the plane touches back down in Canada I sigh because the weather is (usually) shite and I take a deep breath because I feel less on guard.

Trump’s “jokes” about Canada merging with the USA and referring to the Prime Minister as “Governor” are best ignored.
They are designed to rile and put us on our back foot.

They are the same tactics used by the worst car salesmen who tell you they need to talk to their manager before they can sell you years of car payments plus interest.
He does not need to talk to his manager. He is not doing you a favour.
He needs you.
These tactics are ruses designed to project a power structure - real or imagined.

In their worst form, they are an idea floated to read the room like your drunk friend who says “wouldn’t it be hilarious if we made out?”… except if your drunk friend was also an adjudicated rapist.

Trump’s negotiation tactics often include bombast and outrageousness.
We shouldn’t disregard them but rather we should use them as tells and indicators of bad faith.

America is not Trump but for the next little while Trump is.

Canada, and the world, will stumble through the next few years, but I worry about what America could lose.
Status, regard, respect.
Unscrupulous car salesmen have very few true friends.

But again, this nonsense from Trump likely all swirls into nothing.

Canada is not merging with the United States of America.
Canada is not becoming the 51st state.

Canada loves you, America… just not like that.
Let’s just stay friends.

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(Pictured: Author braces himself for onslaught of freedom while in the USA)

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We released a Limited Run (500 only - almost half gone) of these hoodies you can buy and demonstrate to others one of the defining characteristics of the Canadian identity

You can buy them here: PeaceLoveCanada.ca