HOW TO BECOME A DAD

or Dad's Don't Need Moustaches But Nobody's Stopping You

It’s been said that a boy doesn’t truly become a man until his father dies.

That’s pretty fucking grim, if you ask me.

I also don’t believe that to be true… though it would explain my difficulty in growing a moustache as my father is still very much alive.

I think becoming a “man” is quite subjective and therefore can happen at any point, to anyone, and, to the relief of fathers to sons everywhere, not dependent on patricide. However, becoming a Dad, while still largely subjective, can be more accurately pinpointed.

I think you become a Dad when you put your loved ones before yourself.
I think you become a Dad when you put your own fears aside and step up to steer the ship through a storm.
I think you become a Dad when you provide assistance but in a way that makes it seem like the most regimental thing. eg. This is no big deal, just part of life and just what you do.

I think you become a Dad when someone else’s quality of life is dependent upon you and your actions.

Doing those things for your children, regardless of gender (eg. shoutout single Moms and Two Mom families), makes you a Dad.

Recently, I’ve also found that the definition of being a Dad stretches in the other direction in time as well.

My Dad, as mentioned previously, has Lewy Body Dementia.

He used to carefully guide me down stairs.
Now I guide him.

He used to buckle me in when getting into the car.
Now I buckle him.

He used to wipe my nose when it ran.
Now I, shockingly without complaint from either of us, wipe his nose.

He used to worry that I was eating enough.
Now I worry about him.

He used to provide assurances that everything was going to be okay.
Now I, burning through all my own doubts and fears, provide those assurances to him.

I’ve become a Dad to my Dad.

Being a Dad doesn’t require a moustache.
It doesn’t even require kids.

Being a Dad means becoming the foundation on which others can feel safe, stand firm and reach for happiness.

To be Dad, in one way or another… you just need to be there.

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(Pictured: Pudgy Author, holding ViewMaster and being carried by his Dad, gazes jealously upon the family dog, Benji, and wonders if he will ever be that cute)